I am happy.
I guess exercise helps with happiness. I had a lovely workout with my personal trainer. He's so nice and doesn't push me, but he does show me how to work out correctly. I will see him again tomorrow at 11:30.
I am slightly guilty, however. I made a cake. Scotch Chocolate Cake. 2 cups of sugar, cocoa, 1 box of powdered sugar, white flour, 2 sticks of butter. UGH! It's not that good though. I have this huge urge to throw it away, but I used my mom's ingredients so she'll probably be pissed. Or I could just throw it away and tell her that I ate it all.... hahaha. Yeah.
My appetite. Hmmmm... it comes and goes. Lately food is disgusting to me. Chicken doesn't appeal to me. Blah. However, it's easier for me to eat chocolate than something healthy. But most of the time I don't want to eat. It grosses me out. The thought of chewing, the spit, and swallowing. The possibility of it not going down and it having it hurt until it finally makes it way past the small stoma. I spit out a lot of food. Eh.
I'm frustrated. I'm on 2 antidepressants and I need someone to manage them. My other nurse practitioner bailed on me and my regular PCP doesn't feel comfortable doing it so I decided to make an appointment with the nurse practitioner that I saw for my pre-op stuff. Anyway, they have you call this number. You can't speak to anyone, and you can only leave a message. I called them today, but they decided to call me back while I was at the gym. Then I called them back and left a message. They said that if you leave a message after 3, it will be returned the next day. I left a message at 3:13. Thinking that they won't call me back until tomorrow, I went upstairs to take a nap. I got up about 5 and they had called me back ONLY TO TELL ME TO CALL THE FREAKING NUMBER THAT I CAN ONLY LEAVE A MESSAGE AT. How stupid is that? Can't they just give me a number where I can talk to a human? How hard is that? Whatever. Hopefully I'll get in contact with them tomorrow. Ugh.
I'm tired.
(It's funny how my first half of my blog entry is happiness and the rest sucks. Ha.)
I know what you mean about not having much appetite. I bet you made the cake thinking on some level that it might appeal to you. Good job with the exercise. Sorry you're having issues with your doctor's office. We definately live in a world that isn;t very user-friendly.
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