I hadn't considered my emotions this whole time. I am slightly depressed. I'm leaving. I'm leaving the old me behind. It's hard to give up something when that something is all you've ever known. I'm giving up my habit. My habit has made me feel good when I needed it. It's also been my enemy, and most of the time I hated it. But it was always there for me when I couldn't find anyone else.
So, I sit here almost in tears. I'm trying to hold them back. Who cries when an awesome opportunity comes about? Who cries when they get the chance to change their life?
I start my pre-op liquid diet tomorrow. I know I can do it, but I'm scared I will have "withdrawal" symptoms. Will I be cranky? Will I be antsy? Will I cave in? Will I NEED food?
Good gosh! I'm happy. I really am. It's just hard to give up something that you've had your whole life. Food was my comfort blanket, yet it ways also my jail. My fat is my jail. If I lose my comfort blanket, I will lose my jail. That's a good thing.
It's not going to be easy.
Oh, Honey, I know where you are coming from, but don't look at it as giving something up. Look at it as you are gaining something. And you will have some withdrawal and be a little cranky on the liquid diet, but at least it's short term. You can do it!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Amanda, we all have the Pre-Op jitters. You will do fine on the Pre-Op Diet. It is only for 2 weeks. We can do ANYTHING for 2 weeks!!
ReplyDeleteIt won't be easy, but when we get to the other side it will be amazing! I worry too about what I will look like, will my personality change? And the truth is I don't know. But I do know that its got to be better than this! You will be amazing!!
ReplyDeleteYes, you will have withdrawal symptoms. Not gonna lie. You'll get a headache and have head hunger like there's nothing else in to compare to. But after some point between days 2 and 3, it will all get better and you'll be fine. Stick with it. The scale actually responds FAST on this diet. So there's some motivation there. And it's temporary. You can do this!
ReplyDeleteAnd like Bonnie said, you are not losing anything, you are only gaining. Control, power, a new lease on life. You are not giving anything up for good. You are cutting back how much of that anything you opt for. It's not about deprivation, it's about control. You are taking control and you can't go wrong with that!
I agree it sort of feels like the end of a relationship. I cried too. It is the start to a whole new life. I have had it done for almost 2 months and I still think about it and cry sometimes. Not because Im sad but just miss the way things used to be. (not being fat just being free to shovel food in my mouth like i really needed that lol) Believe me this is only the start to the emotions you will feel on this journey!!! When your on the other side you will have alot different emotions. Your past will only be a thought that pops up every once in a while. Your new life will be AMAZING! The emotions you will feel on the other side will start off with frustration, happiness, and accomplishment. YOU ARE GOING TO DO GREAT!!! But your new way of eating will become just another part of your life :) From here on out sweetie it will be good. When you have emotions pop up dont hide..dive right into it. That is part of this awesome experience :)
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