Just One Comment

It's amazing how one comment can ruin your day. It can ruin what you built up - kind of like building a sandcastle. You're so damn proud of that sandcastle, and then someone comes around and stomps all over the damn thing!

Heh.

Something like that happened to me today.

I was talking to my co-worker. I told her I lost 71 pounds. A patient across the room says "She needs to lose more."

.............

Wow.
.
.
.
.
Wow.
I feel as though 71 pounds isn't a lot or even good. I weigh 255 pounds. I feel like a fucking fat ass. I'm a fucking fat ass! I'm bigger than a cow.

I wasn't suppose to hear that comment, BUT I DID and that changes nothing.

So now I don't want to eat anything. I want to starve myself because I'm a big fucking fat ass that needs to lose more weight.

Ha.... and another thing. Another co-worker was studying what I was eating. I had a corn dog. It had like 220 calories. I also had macaroni salad and mustard and ketchup with that corn dog. It filled me up....... but she had to go on her little rave about Weight Watchers and how my corn dog would be like 6 or 7 points. Now, not only am I fat ass, I don't know how to eat right despite the fact that I've lost 71 pounds, which apparently means nothing!!!

I feel like a fat worthless nothing. I feel depressed. I'm not sure why I've let these things bother me, but they do.

Lesson of the day: Watch what you say...